


Tony’s Little Black Book: The Threesomes

by hellbells



Series: Tales from Tony's Black Book [20]
Category: Grey's Anatomy, Hawaii Five-0 (2010), Marvel Cinematic Universe, NCIS, NCIS: New Orleans, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Multi, One Shot Collection, Tale Fromm Tony’s Black Book
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-06-29 06:56:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15724272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellbells/pseuds/hellbells
Summary: Tony has always had a lot of love to give and as his black book shows he doesn’t always stick to one at a time.





	1. Contents Page: TLBB Threesomes Collection

 The other collections included in this series are as follows:-

Tony's Little Black Book: [The Original Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7887124) (Complete)

**Phase 2**

  * Tony's Little Black Book: [Shades of Grey ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10700892)
  * Tony's Little Black Book: [Law and Spy Zone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10597365) (Complete)
  * Tony's Little Black Book: [Night in front of the TV](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10614756)
  * Tony's Little Black Book: [Big Heroes ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10689828)
  * Tony's Little Black Book: [Holiday Collection 2017 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13016232) 



**Phase 3**

  * Tony's Little Black Book: [Turn of the Women ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15316494/chapters/35535927)
  * Tony's Little Black Book: [The Fusion Zone ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15674157/chapters/36413862)
  * Tony's Little Black Book: [Author Fav's ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16804954)



* * *

_**Contents Page for Tony’s Little Black Book: The Threesomes** _

1) [Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15724272/chapters/36554529) (Hawaii Five-0)

2) [John Sheppard/Rodney McKay](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15724272/chapters/36694488) (Stargate Atlantis)

3) [Derek Sheppard/Mark Sloane ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15724272/chapters/37329983)(Grey's Anatomy)

4) [Jethro Gibbs/Dwayne Pride](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15724272/chapters/38334116) (NCIS franchise)

5) [Tony Stark/Steve Rogers ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15724272/chapters/39566896)(Marvel)

 

**Names being considered**

  * Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg
  * John Sheppard/Cameron Mitchell 
  * Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson
  * Jethro Gibbs/Dwayne Pride 
  * Mike Ross/Harvey Specter
  * Angel/Spike
  * G Callen/Sam Hanna
  * Oliver Queen/Barry Allen
  * Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
  * Spencer Reid/Derek Morgan
  * Derek Morgan/Penelope Garcia
  * Tony Stark/Steve Rogers
  * Neal Caffrey/Peter Burke
  * James Bond/Q
  * Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
  * Captain Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones



 

  * Others TBC



* * *

 


	2. The Calming One (Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As he helped his soulmate off the floor. He saw his name and the same problem was shared by his soulmate. Under the one name there was still another smudge that hadn’t formed into another name. Danny just smirked. “Huh, so are we so high maintenance ... we need a third to balance us?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for DolphinStarchild who put the ideas of threesomes as a possibility.
> 
> Oh, and you may have guessed from the summary - I troped (Soulmate AU)

  
Soulmates. The other half to your soul. The one who you are incomplete without. It was well known, and at least humanity had help. When a human turned sixteen, they had a name form on their skin.  _ Sort of. _ It was a dark smudge on your wrist that only formed upon meeting your true one. It required touch to form into a full name that you could read. It was like a fail-safe.    
  
Only Danny had a secret.  **A big one.** Rachel was not his one, hence their divorce. They’d been young, hot and wanted to settle down, tired of waiting. Danny would never hate his ex-wife even if he did infuriate her. Their marriage had produced Grace, and his daughter was worth everything.    
  


It was worth moving to Hawaii for her. He did not expect to be on a hell-hole island punching a SEAL. Not his finest or smartest moment to watch as a neat cursive name formed on the wrist of said SEAL. Fate was a bitch, he was sure of it. There was one upside - his future husband was definitely hotter than Rachel’s soulmate.    
  
As he helped his soulmate off the floor. He saw his name and the same problem was shared by his soulmate. Under the one name there was still another smudge that hadn’t formed into another name. Danny just smirked. “Huh, so are we so high maintenance ... we need a third to balance us?”   
  
Steve snickered. “It might stop our fistfights.”   
  
~*~   
  
Steve had been arrested and Danny needed this to be done right. “I’m calling NCIS. This needs to be investigated properly.”   
  
Chin growled. “And we can’t do that.”   
  
Danny rolled his eyes. “I know that, Chin. Now, I will get someone to help my stupid crazy soulmate and we’ll continue to solve crimes. Steve is big enough and bad enough to stay alive until we can get this fixed.” He had to believe that or he would go mad.   
  
Chin looked pained but managed a weak smile. “Okay.”   
  
Danny sighed. “Yeah.”   
  
Chin knew what he needed. “There is a little girl over there who I think needs her Daddy.”   
  
Danny smiled weakly. “I know her Daddy needs her.”   
  
“DANNO!”   
  
Danny swept her into a hug. “Oh Gracie, I am so glad you’re here.”   
  
She grinned at him toothily. “I heard Uncle Steve did something silly.”   
  
Danny chuckled because that was one way of putting it. “Yeah, kiddo, he did. It’s okay though, I have a plan.”   
  
~*~   
  
Gibbs swept into the 5-0 taskforce offices. “So who is Detective Williams?”   
  
Danny poked his head out of his office. “That would be me. Nice to meet you, Agent Gibbs.”   
  
Gibbs nodded. “This is my SFA, Agent DiNozzo, and the rest of my team, Agent McGee and Agent Todd.”   
  
The team shook hands with Danny but he reached the SFA last. The pain on his hand was matched with a grimace on the Agent’s hand. “Huh.”   
  
Gibbs froze. “Seriously, DiNozzo?”   
  
Tony looked comically aggrieved. “It is not like I can control when I meet my soulmate, boss.”   
  
The other two looked on in shock but Tony didn’t care. He’d finally met one of his soulmates. He took a deep breath. “So we have a job to do. The Governor was murdered and they’ve arrested Commander McGarrett.”   
  
Kate looked at the room. She pointed in the far corner. “Has anyone accessed that camera.”   
  
Danny zoomed in on the image. “Chin, Kono!”    
  
They quickly appeared and got confirmation that no, they hadn’t. They hadn’t recognised it as a surveillance piece. Todd shrugged. “It’s a secret service idea, I’d put money on it.”   
  
Gibbs smirked. “Well, Todd, take McGee and go find out.”   
  
Chin picked up his coat. “I’ll drive you.”   
  
They nodded and left the office. Gibbs continued. “Officer Kono here will get me up to speed on everything while you two go and chat.”   
  
Tony managed a weak nod. Danny just guided him into the office and onto a sofa. “Hey, you okay?”   
  
Tony looked up into those blue eyes. “Shock, mainly. I didn’t think I’d ever meet one of my soulmates.”   
  
Danny chuckled, sitting next to him on the sofa. He was so glad he’d insisted on it for when Grace came to visit. He was soaking up the warmth from his other soulmate and he couldn’t believe the difference he felt. “Well, about that. You’re not saying it but I’m guessing there’s another smudge just under my name?”   
  
Tony nodded weakly. “How did you know?”   
  
Danny showed his own arm where the neat cursive writing of Anthony was visible just under that of Steve. Danny saw the look of shock and realisation on his face. “Oh Jesus.”   
  
Danny chuckled falling into the hug he’d been pulled into. “Oh yeah. You can now see why I called you guys.”   
  
Tony snorted. “Yeah, is he okay?”   
  
Danny shrugged. “For now but the stubborn bastard has refused me visits so I’m guessing he has got in a few fights and doesn’t want me to rant.”   
  
Tony grinned and wrapped an arm around his soulmate. This was odd but didn’t feel too sudden. “So is that a thing?”   
  
Danny sighed. “I am hot headed and I don’t feel I should hold back when faced with stupidity.”   
  
Tony smirked. “No one said you should. Damn, I kind of want to kiss that pout off your lips.”   
  
Danny groaned. “Don’t tease a guy. I have been in a very stressful situation for the last 48 hours.”   
  
Tony pulled him closer, taking a chance. “Hey, I’d kiss you now, and a thousand times whenever you want or need. The only thing stopping me is ... one - said stressful situation, and two - this is your workplace and I get the sense that you want to keep it professional.”   
  
Danny leant into his shoulder. “You are so right and I kind of hate you for it. We need Steve with us. I want to do this right for all of us.”   
  
Tony looked amazed at the idea that he might soon have a confirmed triad. It was so rare. It was known that everyone was born with a soulmate, the other half of their soul. It was only in rare cases, like 0.1% of people, were they born to triads. “Okay. So if that is the case, we need to stop touching because you are too tempting to be on my lap.”   
  
Danny snickered but stole a kiss anyway. “Says the man who looks like a GQ model.”   
  
Tony stood up, sauntering past him. “Oh darlin, I will wear whatever you want me to wear.”   
  
Danny groaned and thought of the unsexiest images he could think of in order to avoid being embarrassed.    
  
~*~   
  
Tony growled at the police captain, you would have thought he was Gibbs in that moment. “And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”   
  
The Captain looked at Gibbs as if to say  _ aren’t you going to step in _ . Gibbs, though, did what you would expect. “I think you should answer him.”   
  
“We had no idea that McGarrett would be stabbed.”   
  
DiNozzo stood up and yelled. “Why? Are you particularly stupid? He has arrested most of the high risk prisoners, who you then put him next to when you WRONGFULLY arrested him.”   
  
The Captain sighed. “Look, the evidence pointed to him.”   
  
DiNozzo sneered. “Oh, really. Agent Todd took one look and pointed at a camera you’d missed. Or should I say, you didn’t look for as you have a suspect so you made the narrative fit the suspect.”   
  
Kate whispered to Gibbs. “Shouldn’t you stop him?”   
  
Gibbs shook his head. “Nope.”   
  
DiNozzo took a breath and asked. “Danno, anything you want to say?”   
  
The man shook his head. Technically, he was still part of the PD. “No, I’d say you said everything I wanted to, and I’m glad your agency was here to see that my soulmate was wrongfully convicted.”   
  
Tony nodded. “Well, the bossman doesn’t have a weak team, he doesn’t allow it.” He turned to Kate. “Thanks, Katie. Oh, boss - I need soulmate leave and I will be honest, you should probably start to shop around for a new SFA.”   
  
Gibbs snorted. “If I could stay in Hawaii I probably would too. Stay safe, Tony.”   
  
Tony smirked. “I will. Now excuse us, we need to go and see our third.”   
  
“Third!”   
  
Tony nodded. “Have fun in DC, guys.”   
  
Tim looked bewildered. “He’s a triad?”   
  
Kate nodded. “Wow, the Detective and the Commander. I feel kind of jealous.”   
  
~*~   
  
Tony strolled into the infirmary. “Get these cuffs off now.”   
  
“He’s dangerous.”   
  
Tony snorted. “No, his is a United States SEAL who has a very big apology coming to him from the Police Captain. Now, I say this again, get the cuffs off him.”   
  
Steve opened his eyes blearily. “I know the rant but not the face.”   
  
Danny snickered. “Oh, I am here, babe. You should touch Tony, it’ll be illuminating, and brace yourself.”   
  
Steve was wide awake all of a sudden. “You met our third first?”   
  
Danny looked smug. “Steve, meet our very own gorgeous Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. His team helped us to exonerate your stupid SEAL ass.”   
  
Steve clutched his hand and tensed and sure enough the smudge on his arm cleared to reveal Tony’s name. “This sucks, I am injured.”   
  
Tony smirked. “Oh, don’t worry. You can watch us until you recover ... consider it your punishment for going somewhere without back-up.”   
  
Steve’s head just fell back on the pillow. He had two passionate Italian lovers and he was too injured to do anything about it right now.   
  
~*~   
  
Denning read the report and made a phone call. Morrow decided to make it a seconded position for now, in the vain hope he could keep Tony in the agency. He had designs on the man being in his big chair eventually.   
  
“Welcome to 5-0. Try to keep the bill down. Oh, and the Police Captain would like to offer his apologies to your triad whenever convenient.”   
  
Tony smirked. “Should I make nice?”   
  
The governor shook his head. “He got it wrong, and you helped avoid a miscarriage of justice. Your speech was quite elegant. If you wanted to I’d say consider politics as a future.”   
  
Tony quirked an eyebrow. “Seriously?”   
  
Denning shrugged. “Only you can answer that but I would suspect you’d be good at it. From what I’ve read, you’ll get lots practice with Commander McGarrett.”   
  
Tony sighed because he’d read the reports and listened to Danny’s rants. “Yeah, I know.”   
  
_ And ten years later, sure enough Denning was right and Tony was announcing his plans for Governorship. It seemed a platform, of making Hawaii safe and aiming to improve the lives of all resonated with them. Steve and Danny stood by him and continued to co-lead the 5-0 taskforce that Tony had championed and seen adopted as a model in many other states. That equality of power also translated to their home life and while it was occasionally volatile, the respect and love the three had for each other meant that none of them would ever be alone again. _


	3. Triad of Atlantis (McShep)

Sheppard and Lorne were in their office doing the dreaded paperwork. As a way to distract themselves they were gossiping too - it helped pass the time.    
  
Lorne asked what was bugging him. “So have the Marines just decided to marry each other?”   
  
Sheppard shrugged. “Nah. Although they still have their platoon bonding on a Friday evening.” He shuddered. “You cannot imagine the things I have had to explain to Atlantis because she got curious about what she observed.”   
  
Lorne snickered because he’d heard the stories and was glad that she only really talked to the Colonel about things she wanted to understand. “I wonder which one of them came up with describing the orgy as platoon bonding.”   
  
Sheppard chuckled because he did know the answer to that one. “Cadman. She does assure me that five committed threesomes including her own have come from the weekly bonding session.”   
  
Lorne shook his head because he adored his job, his life and he wouldn’t change a thing about it. However, he’d soon learned that leading marines was a special skill that you had to be a little insane to manage. “I’ll stick with my scientists.”   
  
Sheppard smirked. “And how is Dr Z and Parrish?”   
  
Lorne was smug. “Content.”   
  
Sheppard snorted. “Well, Ally loves the triads forming, in fact, she’s encouraging them as she finds duo couples too odd. Apparently, Ancients did everything in threes.”   
  
Lorne was always cheeky but knew the art of good timing. “And who will be your third?”   
  
Sheppard just gave him a look. “So you know anyone who can put up with my ‘antics’ and McKay’s mouth?”   
  
Lorne smirked, suggesting that he knew something his CO didn’t. “I think one of the newbies will surprise you but I’ll let you figure it out.”   
  
~*~   
  
The Senior staff were all in the gate room watching those arriving at Atlantis. It was a ritual that let them know a lot about the individual person themselves. The scientists tended to look around in awe as if they’d found the Holy Grail. The Soldiers would check their lines of sight and the exits.    
  
“Who is he? Ally is going ga-ga..”   
  
Rodney snorted. “Purlease, with those looks everyone will be going ga-ga.”   
  
Sheppard saw his second’s smirk - so this was who he meant. Evan did answer. “That’s Agent Anthony DiNozzo. NCIS. During the genetic screening, he was found to have the strongest expression of the ATA gene, rather like the Colonel’s strong version.”   
  
McKay was tapping away on his pad. “He is like you, a pretty boy with a brain. One P.hD to his name.”   
  
Sheppard filed the information away and focused on the orientation greeting of the new agents.    
  
~*~   
  
Meanwhile, on the Seahawk, a smug Ziva and Tim couldn’t wait to rub it in Tony’s face that they were already back on the team and he wasn’t.    
  
“Where’s the agent afloat?” Gibbs demanded to know.    
  
The Captain shrugged. “Burley said something about a lead in the infirmary. Excuse me, one of my men will show you the way.”   
  
Gibbs reared in shock. “Burley, don’t you mean DiNozzo?”   
  
Captain Owens shook his head. “Nope, he got snaffled by some top-secret project. I was really pissed to have to let him go but I got Burley as an excellent apology.”   
  
The Captain got back to running his ship, now that the team was here to investigate the mystery of the jumper, who didn’t die.   
  
Tim whispered. “Top Secret?”   
  
Gibbs rolled his eyes. “You pair never did look beneath the surface. I’m getting a line to Vance.”   
  
Only the mystery deepened. Vance looked sour as he explained what limited things he knew. “He won’t be ours again. I was informed by a General O’Neill that I was not to make waves if I wanted to see the light of day ever again.”   
  
Gibbs paled. “That’s not just Black Ops.”   
  
Vance snorted because that was an understatement if there ever was one. “You must impinge on the members of your team the consequences of looking for DiNozzo.”   
  
“I will.”   
  
~*~   
  
McKay found his new recruit in the control chair. It was mandatory for the all ATA gene holders to have training so they didn’t have a repeat of Dr Beckett and the drone. McKay, if he was honest, had passed the training of most, the newbies onto his minions but had an ulterior motive with this one.    
  
DiNozzo was as ridiculous as Sheppard, he made lying back in the chair look sexy. “So think of the universe.”   
  
He did.    
  
“Huh.” Even Sheppard didn’t make it a 3D spectacle quite like this. It was like the holodeck on Star Trek. McKay tried to play it cool. “Good. Now, can you picture Atlantis?”   
  
DiNozzo frowned cutely as he did as ordered. The room filled with a glorious 3D rendering of their fair city. McKay noticed the worried look on the Agent’s face.    
  
“Is something wrong?”   
  
DiNozzo nodded but it was obvious that his mind was elsewhere. “Ally is screaming that something’s wrong on the western pier.”   
  
To help verbalise it, Tony bought up an enlarged view of the pier to help McKay be able to diagnose exactly what is wrong. McKay was tapping furiously on his monitor and cursing in French. He tapped his radio. “Zelenka, get a team to the western pier and fix those couplings or the Daedalus will be sinking on its arrival.”   
  
Tony asked the chair to release him and sat up. “Did I do okay?”   
  
McKay nodded. “Hot and useful. You will fit in around here.”   
  
Tony pouted. “Don’t tease a man, Dr McKay. I like ‘em mean and you’ve already got the Colonel.”   
  
McKay didn’t crow because it was unbecoming. “Who’s teasing and why do you have to choose? Sheppard’s just annoyed I got there first.”   
  
Ally though helped her favoured son, as Tony heard Sheppard’s voice, in his mind. “Meet us at our quarters at eight. We can discuss things like adults.”   
  
Tony had, in fact, noticed the multiple triads and whatever you wanted to call the marine arrangement. He’d made a quiet enquiry about that and was told to leave it alone.   
  
~*~   
  
Tony had made his way to the training room. He was wearing looser workout trousers and a tight vest. He smiled seeing Teyla. “Thank you for these sessions.”   
  
“I do not mind for a willing student and you are less naive than some of the marines.”   
  
Tony chuckled. “As a cop, I learned an earth martial art called Eskrima.”   
  
“I see.”   
  
Tony worked through the motions. He was able to hold his own but he laughed when he landed on the floor. He felt breathless but thanks to the medical equipment at the SGC his lungs had been healed. “That was awesome ... Can you show me that move slowly?”   
  
Teyla nodded her head, happy to instruct someone who had no prejudices. “Like this.”   
  
Tony followed the kata, at least that was how he thought of it. He did the motions slowly to ensure that he had them correct - and only then did he speed up. She grinned in delight. “Now let’s see if you can use it.”   
  
This bout lasted longer, and some of the soldiers started to watch in curiosity. The only other people who could hold their own against Teyla were the Colonel and Ronan. Cadman smirked. “He’s already taken so wipe the drool off your faces.”   
  
The marines pouted. “Who?”   
  
“The Colonel and McKay.”   
  
“Nah - don’t believe it.” One brave Captain muttered.   
  
She looked smug but she’d been inside McKay’s head so she knew better. “Just you wait. I bet you a week’s coffee ration that tomorrow Agent Hottie will be taken.”   
  
~*~   
  
The Captain groaned in the morning. As sure enough, DiNozzo walked into the Mess Hall flanked by Sheppard and McKay. All three of them radiated smug contentment.    
  
“That sucks.”   
  
His mate whirled around. “What?”   
  
“The Major was right. They’re all hot and taken.”   
  
“McKay is a lucky bastard.”   
  
The Captain shrugged. “Sorry, Jenkins, you’re not pretty enough for McKay.”   
  
Dr McKay must have been in a good mood. “He is lacking at least a P.hD as well.”   
  
Tony snickered. “Caffeine and then senior staff meeting before you pick on the soldiers.”   
  
McKay sighed. “You always going to be so reasonable?”   
  
DiNozzo had a wicked grin as he sat down. “You can find incentives to bribe me if you like.”   
  
_ The Captain groaned - life was so not fair. Dr McKay could be a magnificent bastard as his training officer would say, and yet he has ended up with the two hottest men on the base. _ __   
  
  



	4. McThreesome (Sheppard/Sloane)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those unfamiliar with Grey's Anatomy Eric Dane plays Mark Sloane and Patrick Dempsey plays Derek Sheppard.

The interns were as confused and exhausted as could be. Although, it was not what you think. It wasn’t a case that was bothering them. Although Izzie might argue it was still life and death - everyone else would consider it gossip.  
  
_Pure and simple gossip._  
  
All the interns were sitting down together in the cafeteria. “You’re telling me McDreamy is dating Hot Cop?” Yang pouted because that was a cop she wanted to take a ride on. He was hot and a lot less complicated than Burke.   
  
Meredith snorted as Christina wasn’t the only one who felt that way. She’d heard the nurses give their opinion too about the hot cop ... but no one seemed to know his name. “Just telling you what I saw at Joe’s. They were playing darts, drinking and touching each other and there was no personal space between them at all.”  
  
The man in question actually walked into their cafeteria heading straight for the attendings table. At the moment, there was only Dr Sloane (Otherwise known as McSteamy) and Dr Shepherd (McDreamy).   
  
Yang watched the visual greeting Hot-Cop had given Dr Sloane. “Okay then ... so what is that?”  
  
Hot cop had just shoved his tongue down Dr Sloane’s throat. He looked harried and like he’d come from a crime scene. Whatever it was, Dr Sloane could roll with it. He bowed to the wolf-whistles and pushed Hot Cop off toward the patient rooms.  
  
Almost to add to the mystery - McDreamy raced through in the same direction. He seemed worried by Hot-Cop and whatever he’d whispered to Sloane.  
  
Yang had a wicked grin as her mind wandered to mischief. “You know what would break everyone?”  
  
“What?”  
  
Yang smirk grew. “How about if the couple is a McThreesome?”  
  
Izzie shook her head. “Ha, McDreamy is too straight-laced and just divorced.”  
  
Alex snickered. “Hey, that would make it more fun.”  
  
The interns all scoffed but Meredith thought about it. It would be thoroughly modern of them but if they were happy, good for them.  
  
No answers were forthcoming that day.   
  
~*~  
  
Mark and Derek were actually doing a joint surgery today which was something being observed by everyone. You could tell they were old friends and knew everything about each other by how well they worked together. A surgery could be a very small playing field with four sets of hands. So, the two attendings started to have a chat about general things. It didn’t seem to bother them that they were being observed by a gallery of interns.  
  
“So I might have found a new place?” Mark said calmly as he suctioned blood for Derek to finish his job.  
  
Derek snorted but didn’t let any muscle twitch. “You mean I will have my place to myself? Whatever will I do?”  
  
In Mark’s opinion, you shouldn’t give him such an opening and next expect him to take it. “Crash and burn, baby, crash and burn. You know you need Tony and me around to make sure you have fun.”  
  
Derek didn’t take his eyes off the patient. “I have fun.”  
  
Mark shook his head. “No - journals and brains are not fun.”  
  
Derek huffed as he hated when Mark called him a robot. Although he could announce with satisfaction,  “And done, another beautiful life saved. Now it is up to you to make it look like I was never here.”  
  
Mark smirked. “Thanks for the challenge.”  
  
~*~  
  
Up in the observational room, Izzie was the one to raise the question. “Is this Tony, the hot cop?”  
  
“So he is dating McSteamy?” Poor George asked, trying to keep up. He was just so confused!  
  
The interns shrugged but Christina reminded them. “Could be McSteamy, could be McDreamy, hell could even be ... McThreesome.”  
  
The others still didn’t believe that Dr Shepherd was capable of it.   
  
~*~   
  
Derek had opened up the door to the apartment to the most amazing smell. He knew Tony must be cooking because Mark and he may be brilliant surgeons but cooks they weren’t. “Damn that smells good.”  
  
Tony was dancing around the kitchen, looking confident and in charge. Derek loved when Tony wanted to unwind by cooking. He couldn’t resist pulling Tony in for a kiss or two. It was just too much temptation.

Tony’s eyes were alight with mischief. “You know the apron doesn’t say kiss the chef.”  
  
Derek shrugged, not sorry for his actions . “You’re too sexy right now for me to resist.”   
  
Tony blushed but accepted the next kiss, before tugging away. “Now stop distracting me while I’m making pasta.”   
  
“Fresh?” Derek asked hopefully because Tony’s pasta was too good. He and Mark would both be fat if they didn’t enjoy so much sex.   
  
“Of course! What do you take me for?” Tony asked in faux outrage.

Derek chuckled, knowing he was only teasing. “An overworked Federal Agent.”  
  
Tony sighed. “It was either that or pound an annoyance into the ground. I didn’t want to make Mark home late, so I chose to make pasta.”   
  
And Mark, who finally joined them, answered. “And my hands and stomach thank you.”   
  
Tony pulled Mark into a kiss. “Welcome home. Now let me finish cooking.”   
  
Mark nodded, holding his hands up in surrender. “We’ll leave you alone.”   
  
Now those words should have been the warning sign.   
  
Tony had just put the pasta on to boil when he heard the first moan. It was Derek’s delight over something, he could hear the chair creak and he clutched the kitchen top as his own arousal kicked in.   
  
“You okay there, babe?” Mark asked.

Tony wanted to glower but knew turning back would mean burning dinner. “ _Jusssst fiiiiinnnne.”_   
  
Tony was rock hard hearing that unmistakable slurping sound. “You know, Derek if you’re thirsty ... I have some wine.” 

Mark groaned. “You won’t play."

Tony put the sauce off the heat now that it was almost done. The pasta was prepared and just needed to be cooked. Still, before he could hope to concentrate - he needed to cool off. Or, at least do something about his arousal.

Tony managed to tease both men at the same time, handling Derek’s arousal as he licked and nibbled at Mark. The men were powerless to resist his focused attention - and Tony had never been a selfish lover.

He’d assumed with their mutual climaxes he’d be able to concentrate. Only his two gorgeous rockstar surgeons turned the table - and made him the meat in a very sexy sandwich.

So to answer the interns, both the men were his - just like he was theirs.

_He would hate him too if he wasn’t dating them. It was greedy to have both of them but Tony had learned that they all deserved the very best - and it worked for them._


	5. Done Settling for Second Best (Pride/Gibbs)

**Done Settling for Second Best.**

Tony was a peacemaker. It was the way he worked. He blamed his childhood. He could handle people’s anger but preferred for people to be happy so would deflect anger and absorb it in order to make sure others stayed stress-free. 

_ Still - who was there to help him?  _

Tony decided to hide in Abby’s lab and hoped, considering how bad he felt, she would hide him for a few hours. 

“Abs, I need the futon and a few hours.”   
  
She whirled around and was about to make a comment but it died on her lips. She hadn’t seen Tony look this rough since he’d contracted the plague. “What’s wrong?”   
  
“I feel like a chew toy - only I am not sure who is the bigger dog out of Gibbs and Pride.”   
  
She snickered, having heard about the fact King hadn’t been shy about his attraction to Tony. “You know Gibbs gets protective.”   
  
Tony sighed. “Yeah, he doesn’t want me and he’s now being a bastard. I know, I know that is his character but there’s no need to be a cockblock.” 

She put a hand on his shoulder. She felt bad thinking about how long it had been since they’d had a proper chat. She could give him a chance to sleep and unless there was a dire emergency she would let him rest. “That is a serious crime. Get some sleep, hot stuff, and we’ll figure out a plan of attack.”

~*~ 

Gibbs came storming down to Abby trying to find Tony only to stop in his tracks. His SFA looked so young and curled up in on himself. It was miles apart from how he was awake where he was so vibrant.

Abby looked at him with such disappointment. “You know if you won’t play with Tony, you shouldn’t stop him and Pride.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”     
  
“Your second B is showing, my silver fox.” She said knowingly. 

Gibbs huffed. “He’s straight, Ab’s, so what does it matter?”

Abby managed to cackle but did quietly enough to not wake up Tony. “Oh, Gibbsy, there is nothing Kinsey Zero about Tony. You should ask him about the twins he plays with at the club.”   
  
Gibbs frowned. “Twins.”   
  
Abby’s salacious grin told him everything. “Sean and Andi, they’re acrobats and they always have a good time.”

Gibbs focus moved back to Tony. “What’s wrong?”    
  
“He has a migraine,” Abby explained. “You remember. Like the good ole days. So why are you being so mean to Tony now?”   
  
Gibbs thought about it and it was a fair question. He wouldn’t apologise. It wasn’t his way but something had shaken loose watching him sleep. “Look after him, Abs. Pride and I are chasing down a lead.”

Abs just pursed her lips. She knew him too well, he’d had his epiphany and Gibbs wasn’t above making the competition disappear. “Make sure Pride comes back.”   
  
Gibbs made a tactical retreat knowing that he didn’t want to stick around and answer any more questions. He had a few things to work through in his own mind before he had made things complicated. 

~*~   
  
Tony woke up to see a grinning Abby. “What did you do?” 

She looked mischievous. “I told bossman that if he won’t play with you he should let you be.”   
  
Tony felt his heart stop. “You did?”    
  
She nodded, looking so earnest. “I did and better yet ... he listened. Ton’ - he thought you were straight as could be.”

Tony frowned because he was sure he’d let it slip to Gibbs that he wasn’t wholly straight. He sighed realising he had but it was before the bomb attack that knocked Gibbs memory for six. “Ah ... but Pride is kind of awesome.”   


Abby snorted knowing that when at the club Tony tended to leave with silver foxes. “Why stint yourself? It’s not like you to  **limit** your choices.”   
  
Tony got up and had to stop his mind from wandering to fantastical places. He’d never seen the problem in two partners instead of one. In his mind, love was love and as long as all parties were in agreement it could be a lot of fun. Still, he dismissed it as nothing more than a fantasy - it would never happen in real life, right?

~*~

McGee kept staring at Tony like he was a science experiment - and it was starting to annoy him. “What’s the problem, _ McStare?” _

McGee went to open his mouth and then close it. He did this a few times until Tony lost his patience. “You come to a decision,  _ McStick _ ?”

Ziva looked up from her computer screen. “He wants to know how you made Gibbs stop head-slapping you.”   
  
Tony shrugged playing clueless but vowed to get Abby a really nice choker or something to say thank you. It didn’t stop his blue balls but it did let him think straight without a chance for a new headache. “The fates love me.”   
  
Ziva rolled her eyes. “If you say so. They do say the fates are women, yes?”   


Tony just looked coy. The two had no clue that it wasn’t women who currently held his interest. In fact, Abby was the only one, and to his relief, she’d suggested that they go back to the club to unwind. She might have forgotten that she mentioned their plan where both Gibbs and Pride could overhear.  The men needed to get over themselves and ask Tony out. The perfect thing was at the club - there was no way they wouldn’t get jealous because Tony always got attention at the club they frequented.

~*~

Tony was dressed and ready to kill. No one at the office would recognise him, he was in leather pants and okay the crisp, Armani shirt was still in place. It worked and he looked good in them. He was pleased that after four years he could still fit into the pants. 

Abby giggled, twirling in her tartan get up. “How do I look?”   
  
“Awesome as usual,” Tony responded. “And me?”    
  
“Like you won’t sleep alone unless you want to.” She remarked with a knowing grin. It was one of the things that worked between the friends. They were both okay with casual intimacy and wouldn’t judge the other for it. 

Tony smirked not giving voice to his fantasy. He was going to the club to drink and dance but he wouldn’t leave with anyone but his silver foxes. He was done settling for second best. 

~*~    
  
The club was heaving and the bass was thumping. It was a perfect rhythm to lose yourself in. Tony danced with a natural ability to move in time to the music. It was a skill that had come in handy one or two times in undercover operations. Tonight was even better though as it was for himself, no role, just a chance to unwind. 

Abby had seen the two men enter together. So, this was going to be fun to watch. Tony had no idea they were here though - he’d finally managed to relax and just dance. She pushed her way through the crowd to the two agents.

“So you decided to stop teasing him?”

“You’re not his mother, Abigail.” Pride chided. 

However, Abby wasn’t backing down - she’d not been a great friend recently but she was mending her ways. She put her folded her arms in front of her. “No, but I am his friend, and it’s not fair to mess with him. You’re either serious, or one or both of you should leave.”   
  
“You’d be okay with both of us?”    
  
Abby’s smile was positively evil. “Oh, how precious. You should both know you wouldn’t be his first threesome. And he’d probably kill me for saying this but he wants you to be his last and permanent one.”

Gibbs had to bite back on his possessiveness knowing that Tony wouldn’t tolerate that crap. He may put up with some of it at work but not in his home life. 

“We won’t do anything that Tony doesn’t want us to do.” Gibbs promised. 

Abby snickered. “Well, that leaves oh so many things.”   
  
Pride sucked in a breath. “Are you trying to be a tease?”    
  
Abby shook her head. “Nope, I am leaving that up to Tony. You two should buckle up because you are going to be introduced full force to the full Tony DiNozzo ... And I can’t wait to watch.”

_ Abby was right - it was a glorious and fun story. Too bad Gibbs swore her to secrecy on the penalty of her caf-pow supply and Abby wasn’t willing to risk those - no matter what.  _


	6. Kickin' and Screamin (Rogers/Stark)

Tony was on holiday, or at least that it is what it was on paper. He’d told Kate and McGee that he was off with frat buddies in Boca but that was a lie. He’d taken his favourite motorbike and drove to the coast. He wanted to see the sights and revel in some peace away from his team. His ‘cover’ at work was starting to wear thin and he was considering this a restorative break. 

His phone buzzed so he pulled his bike over to the side of the road and returned the call to his  _ real  _ boss. “Fury. What do you want?”    
  
“Situation in Long Island. Think you can head that way? And why did you put in for leave?”   
  
Tony bristled because that better not be judgement he heard in his boss’ voice. He’d been sent to NCIS because of Fury wanting an assessment of the agency. Fury had heard things that concerned him and he wanted an oversight check on the agency that oversaw the Naval operations. Tony hated having to play the eternal frat boy. It was a useful cover but after a few weeks it wore him down. He was currently on year five of the cover. Tony didn’t hide his anger.  “I’m due a lot of holiday leave, and my mask was wearing thin.”   


Fury snorted in disbelief. “Who managed to work their way under your legendary patience?”

Tony huffed. “Two junior agents with more arrogance than sense.”

“Wow. You want a trip with Romanov and Barton to work off some steam?” Fury asked because the last time DiNozzo was this annoyed he’d had to send Romanov and Barton to Budapest to limit the damage. He’d never realised just how much chaos DiNozzo could create if he was properly motivated. It had been at that time he’d made a mental note to ensure that Agent DiNozzo should be kept on task at all times. 

Tony scoffed. “Nah, I had plans for me and my bike and the coast. So where do you need me?”   
  
“Steve Rogers has decided he should take a road trip.” Fury explained. 

“Who with?” Tony asked because he knew New York was over but surely they’d have support in place for a guy who up until a month ago was sleeping in ice. 

“No one.”   
  
Tony pinched his nose. “Who thought that was a good idea?”    
  
“Not me, but I didn’t have a choice. Cap can be stubborn, and the first impressions between Stark and Rogers were not great.” Fury explained. Okay, so he was under-playing it but he could be hopeful they could fix things in the future now they didn’t have the threat of Loki hanging over them.    
  
Tony sighed because he was a level nine agent so knew all about Fury’s attempt to put a superhero boyband together. Tony and Coulson had rock-paper-scissored to see who would have the ‘joy’ of being the handler, and Tony had won - going off for his long-term assignment at NCIS instead. “You know what? There was one upside to the assignment you sent me on. I got to finish my psychology doctorate.    
  
“Good, now put it to good use.” Fury said. 

Tony managed to interject. “What’s my exit story from NCIS?”   
  
Fury snorted. “Who the fuck cares? I’m phoning Shepard to say I want my agent back and that will be that.”   
  
Tony shrugged as he didn’t really care. He could have his apartment packed up by Shield Agents and not go back to DC unless requested. He had to do briefings sometimes and there would be no choice. “Okay. I’ll be in contact but Nick, you need to stay away from New York.”   


“Why?”    
  
Tony had a grin on his face. “I need them to work together and you are going to be the figure that will unite them.”   
  
“Perfect.” Fury said, knowing that Tony was obviously more annoyed with him than he originally thought. It was a good job he’d kept Hill and DiNozzo apart as they could be quite the force when left together.

~*~   
  
Jenny Shepard frowned as she listed to the man say he was stealing one of her agents. “Who do you think you are?”    
  
“Nicholas Fury and above your paygrade, sweetheart.” Fury sassed. 

Shepard sighed. “You cannot just take the SFA for the MCRT.” She could not believe that she was reduced to begging.    
  
Fury chuckled. “I don’t think you are hearing me. He is a SHIELD agent, in the first place, and he’s been on assignment these last five years. His assignment is done and I want him back.”   
  
She whispered. “My god. You left him under for how long?”    
  
Fury snorted. “Tony is a big boy and he literally wrote the training manual for undercover agents.”   
  
“What am I supposed to tell his team?”   
  
Fury snickered. “Whatever the fuck you like. He ain’t coming back. I need him for more important duties.”

_ And that was the end of that.  _

~*~

Tony pulled into Stark Tower and walked through the entrance and headed over to the security desk. “Can you tell Mr Stark that Agent Anthony DiNozzo from SHIELD would like to talk to him at his earliest convenience.”   
  
The security man checked the credentials and looked suspicious. “You guys just usually storm up there.”   
  
Tony smirked and put on his own charm offensive. “I’m not most guys and I only storm uninvited into bad guys places. This is Stark’s home and I can respect that.”

The man looked uncertain as to what was happening but he was hearing instructions in the radio piece. “Okay. So Mr Stark said you’re invited to the top floor. Step into the elevator.”

~*~

“Good morning, Agent DiNozzo. How was your ride?”   
  
Tony didn’t freak out at the disembodied voice. “I’m good thanks, sorry, I don’t know your name. I was riding my bike to Long Island but I was ordered here instead.”

“I’m called J.A.R.V.I.S.”   
  
Tony grinned in delight. It was quite Star Trek of Stark to have a disembodied voice/computer that controlled the business. “You’re awesome. I assume you have the run of the building. You’d make a great investigator.”

“You flatter me, Agent DiNozzo, I have read your record.”    
  
Tony snorted, thinking what a change in his week. He’d gone from thinly veiled sarcastic insults to discussing the finer points of his investigative work with an AI.    
  
~*~

And the grin on his face, talking to JARVIS like he was a normal thing was the first impression Tony Stark got of the new agent. He liked what he saw, he was lean, muscled, and most importantly knew the power of a good suit. He had looks and knew how to dress well in Armani. He had to wonder where the hell Fury picked his agents from - with Hill, Barton, Romanov and now this newbie, was physical attractiveness a signing on requirement? 

Stark couldn’t help but flirt, it was like a default setting and it had gotten worse since he and Pepper split. “Well, you’re prettier than your counterparts.”   
  
Tony cocked his head to the side. “You’ve met Agent Romanov.”

“You mean, _ Natashalie _ . Yeah, she is still not forgiven for watching over me nearly die.”   
  
Tony knew all about that and he’d argued with Fury over the whole thing. There was no benefit to holding the research over the man’s head. It didn’t gain them anything but an erratic billionaire who owned a super-suit. “I had nothing to do with that and told Fury he was a stupid son of a bitch for the stunt.”   
  
“You did?”   
  
Tony nodded. “To be fair he had me on a long-term assignment that was fraying on my nerves at the time.”   
  
“So you are not fond of the dread-pirate either?” Stark asked with curiosity.    
  
Tony shook his head. “Nope. He’s asked me to be the Avenger’s handler.”   
  
Stark looked suspicious. “There are no Avengers, we settled the threat to New York. We’ve split up before the album got finished.”   
  
Tony snorted. “So you think all the bad guys and aliens will forget all about little ole Earth? Also, you’ve proved to be a very popular and visible set of heroes. I should imagine the fights over who will oversee that group have already begun.”   
  
“And you are here to be altruistic?” Stark retorted.    
  
Tony shook his head. “I’m here because I was ordered to be here. Only Fury is going to be sorry that he ordered me. I never manage to get his orders quite right.”

“You’re getting more and more attractive by the second.”   
  
Tony pouted. “Don’t flirt with me.”   
  
“Why not?” Tony asked. “You’re not married are you?”   
  
Tony shook his head. “No. I’ve been pulling double duty as a SHIELD agent and an NCIS agent, when would I have had time for romance?”   
  
“Your bed wasn’t empty though was it?” Stark asked astutely. 

Tony countered. “So said the monk?”    
  
Stark shrugged, not repentant in the slightest. “Everyone had a good time.”   
  
Tony smirked. “I’d imagine so. So let’s talk about Captain Spangles and why you need to stop being mean to him.”   
  
Stark flushed. Wow, this agent didn’t pull his punches. He wasn’t used to people being so blunt with him. “I lied about how attractive you are.”   
  
Tony snorted. “No you didn’t, but we need to talk about this and I’m too tired to do anything but get straight to the point.”   
  
“And if I throw you out?” Stark asked, obviously trying to test the waters and see how far it would get him.    
  
Tony shrugged. “I take my bike, go to Long Island, tell Captain America just who I am and what Fury has in mind. Oh, and as I would be more than willing to take a ride on him - he should feel free to work out his frustrations on me.”   
  
Stark had made the mistake of drinking at just the wrong moment. “You did that on purpose!”   
  
“I did.” Tony said without a hint of shame. “You’re both stunningly attractive but we need to get the security of the team up and running before I think about hopping into anyone’s bed. I’m all about the job first, I’m afraid. Is that a dealbreaker?”

Stark tilted his head to the side. “How do you feel about marathon science benders?” 

“You’re entitled to your space but if it impacts your health, I will drag you out of your workspace kickin’ and screamin’.” Tony answered, feeling like this was a weird mix between a job interview and date questions.   


“Interesting,” Stark replied. “And if I rode a bomb into a singularity?”   
  
“I think you’re the bravest son of a bitch I know and the luckiest, but I am still making you see a therapist and will nag you until you give in.”   
  
“You’re not my lover!?!?”

Tony shrugged. “I could be and it would be explosive, and you know it. I’ve seen you imagining it but I’d be saying this to you even if I didn’t find you attractive. You were a POW, then a superhero. You just stopped an alien incursion and you all need therapy but I can’t be your handler and your therapist. Not officially anyway.”

Stark sighed. “You’re going to always use logic and your looks to get your way, aren’t you?”    
  
Tony smiled sweetly. “Just like you use your personality and money to do the same.”

Stark huffed. “Sit down. If we’re going to have a heartfelt discussion I need alcohol.”   
  
“Whatever you need.”   


And Tony made Stark see that for all of his anger, not everything was Steve’s fault and that it was more than likely that the Captain had only been drip-fed information that Fury wanted him to have. 

Tony knew he’d got through when he saw the stubborn set to Stark’s jaw. 

“Why would Fury do that?” 

Tony couldn’t answer. “I think to Fury the whole world is his puppet and he should be the only one with access to the strings.”   


Stark didn’t know why he said it but he had to tell someone who wouldn’t say he was immediately crazy. “Loki was only a puppet.”   
  
“I guessed. So again, I say. We need the Avengers. So are you ready to go make nice with Captain America?”   
  
“He is so sparkly,” Stark said. “It’s like we’re somehow dirtying him, just being in his presence.”   
  
Tony snickered. “He is not a Vampire you know.”   
  
“Oh, he would so be Team  _ Edward. _ ” Stark proclaimed. 

Tony cocked his head to the side out of curiosity. “And what about you?”    
  
“Me, I’m team  _ Jakeward _ , why choose?” Stark replied with a salacious grin. It wouldn’t be the first threesome he’d had. He was a great believer in that as long as everyone was adult and consenting you could do what you liked and should have fun - he wouldn’t judge.    


Tony full out belly laughed and man did he need that. “Don’t ever change.”

~*~

Stark had walked with the agent. He was having JARVIS thoroughly check his background but he knew it would come back clean. 

“Rogers is too much a boy scout.” Stark started to explain to his new friend. They’d found themselves on a walkway down Coney Island. It seemed that Rogers was revisiting places of his youth to try and assimilate the changes in this modern world.    
  
Tony snorted because he wasn’t buying what Stark was selling. Bingo - he’d found their man. He made his response a little louder but could guess the man already knew they were here. “Seriously, the man was regular army, from Brooklyn, and he did tours with the UFO girls. He will be many things but a shrinking violet is not one of them.”   
  
Steve snorted, turning around to the argument. “You’d be right about that ... you know I said I was a virgin and the girls were happy to help me through any first times I hadn’t experienced. And then, they taught me tricks to please a woman.”

Stark looked like a whole pile of puppies had just been killed in front of him. Tony though, was in hysterics. “You know, I think you’re my favourite. I think you should be careful, you might cause a few people to have heart attacks. They’ve built you into a paragon of virtue and all that embodies the American spirit.”   


Rogers held his hand out. “Steve Rogers.”   
  
“Agent Tony DiNozzo.”   
  
Stark wrinkled his nose. “If you’re staying at the tower long term, we will need to figure out the name thing.”   
  
Tony was in a good mood though as he could see signs that this could definitely be smoothed out. “Why not have everyone be called Anthony? You know how like boybands in the nineties used to all change their surnames.”   
  
Starks smirked. “Even Romanov?”    
  
Tony shrugged as he and Natasha actually got on quite well. “I can suggest it. She finds me amusing.”   
  
“The Black Widow finds you amusing?”    
  
“That is a whole other story.” Tony remarked. He was not getting into the story of Budapest right now.    
  
Tony took a deep breath because this mercurial agent was far too intriguing. He was single again, as Pepper had not taken too kindly to his riding a nuclear bomb. The only trouble was for all his flirting and mischief, each layer he peeled away found him getting more in trouble. 

Steve sighed. “Why are you here?”   
  
Tony was honest. “Well, first of all, Fury ordered me here, and then I realised what a mess things are so I need to fix them ... and if that is to work you and Stark need to be on the same page.”   
  
Steve wasn’t saying no which was promising. “Why?”    
  
“Well, you will be the mom and dad of the boyband superhero group and you know how kids get when mom and dad fight.”   
  
Stark had to ask. “And what are you in this analogy?” 

Tony had a wicked smirk. “The Uncle that no one can figure who he is sleeping with?”    
  
Steve smirked right back, matching Tony’s salacious grin. “Are you sure you can keep up?”   
  
“Well, Stark and I both adore sex, we’ve had the practice and I am sure between the two of us we can satisfy a supersoldier.”   
  
_ They could and did. Fury and the rest of the world didn’t know how to handle an aware and savvy Avengers who always seemed to be two steps ahead of each power play.  _

_ The world at large assumed it was Stark, having no clue it was really the handler, who’d gotten very good at being just a ‘suit’ in the background, who was really directing most of the plays - and boy, did they play.  _

  
  
  
  



End file.
